Not to Stress You Out...

So I don't mean to be a big Debbie Downer here or stress you out unnecessarily. However, Thanksgiving is coming! I feel a little like Chicken Little running around screaming "the sky is falling" this time of year- as there is so much to do, and I feel like- not enough time. 36 days, just over a month. Yikes!

In the coming days I have to not only do my normal, every-day things... but somehow manage to:

• Wrangle the kids into some kind of semblance of 'put-together' with haircuts, decent clothing and manners (can you break the habit of no elbows on the table in a month?)
• Do the same with my husband- which, hey- may be even harder. Plus convincing him that Novembeard/Movember is NOT a thing for someone his age and his facial hair needs to go... stat! 
• Get the house together- meaning an IN DEPTH clean, carpets cleaned, dust bunnies evicted, and everything wiped down. For us, this also means donations... cleaning out all that clutter of toys we haven't played with in months, clothes we thought we'd wear but they've been in our closet since last year high-school, etc. When family is coming to town I really want to impress them with my well put together home... even if it is only for a few days. 
• Buy all the things! Groceries, decorations, some therapy, new bedding and towels, etc. 
• Clean the cars- which may seem trivial, but with family coming to town they are going to have to get from the plane to your house somehow- and I don't want their first impression to be of stale french fries and "hey what is that goo" that accompanies my four year old everywhere. 
• Coordinate flight patterns, where relatives will be sleeping/staying and transportation... and you thought soccer season was a challenge!

So to put it mildly, I'm a little stressed. Don't worry though, I stress over what kind of dish detergent to use, so maybe you are better off than I am. Regardless I need some cheats. Here is my quick and dirty cheat sheet to get me through the next 36 days without going bonkers, er, more bonkers. 

• Start now on de-cluttering. It will take the kids and husband at least a week to part with things they THINK they will eventually use again. Let them get that going now. Give them each 2 garbage bags and tell them to fill them, one for garbage and the other for donation. Bribe them to complete this in a timely manner with ice cream or such. If they fail to do it by X day (one week typically) tell them you will do it yourself- and you are eyeing that prize possession of theirs. It usually works. 
• Casually slip photos of ugly mustaches and beards into random places your husband will see- then a few days later point out that this is how the world sees him. This has only worked 1/3 times for me, but hey- once is better than nothing!
• Get everyone to email you their itinerary NOW. Nothing is better than early planning and a dry-erase calendar. Nothing. 
• Schedule a house cleaner for the week before Thanksgiving. Hey, it is an indulgence if you don't already have one... but it is an early Christmas gift you just deserve. Believe me. 
• Get the guest rooms and extra necessities ready this month- towels, linens, sheets, etc. Make the beds and forget it. 
• Decorating- Thankfully most people don't care too much about Thanksgiving decorations, but I've found that a few subtle touches work wonders. A nice fall wreath on the door, a wall decal about the importance of family like THIS or THIS or even THIS (or hey go to this site and search: "Family" and then spend 3 hours looking through every design and getting totally distracted and adding EVERYTHING to your cart because they are awesome! ...and breathe) really make people think you put a lot of work in where you didn't. I put this one up last year in about 10 minutes and every single family member commented on it. Every. One. BAM I'm the best decorator ever. 

  

  I've changed the wall color since this photo. You can't read it... but click on it so you can see it larger.

• Wait until the last few days before arrival to clean up the kids, the car, and do a last one-over of the house. Believe me, doing it early will cause much more grief. 
• Bring your first arriving family members with you to grocery shop. Reasons: 1. They will be bored because they decided to come a week early, and you are too busy to entertain them constantly. 2. They will actually WANT to cook something on Thanksgiving day, and this is their opportunity to volunteer. 3. This needs to happen last anyway... because who has this much room in their fridge at all times?? 
• Forget about teaching your family manners, it is too late for them anyway. Make sure you seat them at another table... or downstairs. 
• Vodka. 

I hope this list helps you a little bit. This is my go-to-mental-list every year, and writing it down a little in advance is helping me breathe a little sigh of relief. This can be done, this can be done... and I'll continue to chant this for the next month or so. Until then, I'll be de-cluttering, scouring, and scrubbing. Don't worry everyone, we didn't clean at all for your visit- I always keep an immaculate house with beautiful behaving children. Really.